Right then, fair warning - there may be a number of tweets tonight, starting now. Apologies for polluting timelines if it's not your thing - feel free to mute the hashtag if you'd prefer not to see them.

Otherwise, let the fun begin!

First off the mark, Czech Republic is pretty good and visually impressive - but memorable enough? Perhaps not. 7/12.

has a better song, though mostly less impressive visually. Sticking with a middle score.

I like - might be slower but it's got a nice sound. I like the electro-folky feel. I'd listen to this outside of the competition.

kicks it up a notch - but this is where scoring gets tricky. I don't think it's better than , but obviously very different. 8/12

The Boy is watching for the first time this year. "Why is he taking his top off?" Umm - "must be warm". Then backed up by Graham Norton. Jolly good.

Well sung, but not doing anything for me. The Boy is not impressed either - it's not fast enough! Remind anyone else of Gordon Haskell's How Wonderful You Are?

Male is performing like his voice is actually a theremin. Can he not change pitch without waving his hand? This does nothing for me at all. 3/12.

Now some proper cheese - it would not be Eurovision without novelty songs like this, so bonus points to ! Can this becoming an earworm!

This one from really reminds me of something. I can't quite put my finger on it - does she sound a bit like Boggie (Hungary from a few years back)

Big cheer for (of course) - "because it's the home team" says The Boy! So sport obsessed

So... How do I explain these costumes and dancing then? No questions yet mind!

I wasn't keen on entry in the semi-final (sacrilege) but it's growing on me - not enough for lots of points though. Het spijt me, Nederland

making good use of the standard four chord progression, just like a million other songs. And is he Germany's answer to Eminem?

You can clearly see the through back to music performances of old in and for that I quite like it - it's pleasant and inoffensive and more about the song than the staging perhaps. Not enough to score highly for me though

The Boy is being a very good host - he's just brought me a bottle of red wine, seeing my beer is running low! Or maybe I should be concerned that he thinks I should have that much drink?

The Boy is also being very serious in scoring, checking all his ratings! Good lad

"Why has that person changed? He was wearing white!" Observant, is The Boy - and a very good question! Something fashion; all beyond me!

Another one that as a song I really like. I do like female-led folk music. But that's far to serious for

another cheesy entry and strong competition for Bananas - this might trump it!

Is there an underlying sound of an ice-cream van in this, or am I just hungry?

is okay but that beat sends me to a Justin Timberlake song... Ooh a speech!

Sounding red alert... While practicing good hand hygiene! A sign of our times?

Well, that was fun. My top marks are for cheesy entries this year - and . Lots of good "sensible" entries too:

Argh panic - SMARTY Mobile UK doesn't support premium rate numbers. No option to enable either. Giffgaff it is then. Daft restriction.

The Boy is in bed, much to his disappointment - he doesn't realize just how long this next bit takes!

Doo-be-doo-be-doo, la-la-la, ho-hum *drums fingers*

Are we nearly there yet?

Feeling a tad old... Exactly how many years ago was it MIKA appeared on Jools Holland?

And now the lines are closed, all the votes are printed out and counted one by one!

Making it sound like the validation of the jury vote was super quick but it's already been done!

"The United Kingdom is in the lead" - when was that last said? And another 12 from Azerbaijan!

What? WHAT? Another 12 points from Germany and Belgium! What is going on!

Don't get hopes up! Don't get hopes up!

I hereby propose to scrap this year's public vote and call the competition closed after the jury vote finishes... Or now!

Are the audience allowed wine? How do they keep going? It's gone midnight there!

So, the United Kingdom wins on the jury vote! I'll take that, thanks. Who wants to trust the public vote?

My choice, , did well in the public vote, let down (unsurprisingly) by the jury vote.

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@BicycleBen All I know is that I had his album as a CD that we kept in the car. That feels like about 100 years ago now.

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