Right then, fair warning - there may be a number of #Eurovision tweets tonight, starting now. Apologies for polluting timelines if it's not your thing - feel free to mute the hashtag if you'd prefer not to see them.
Otherwise, let the fun begin!
First off the mark, Czech Republic is pretty good and visually impressive - but memorable enough? Perhaps not. 7/12.#CZE #Eurovision
#ROU has a better song, though mostly less impressive visually. Sticking with a middle score. #Eurovision
I like #POR - might be slower but it's got a nice sound. I like the electro-folky feel. I'd listen to this outside of the competition. #Eurovision
#FIN kicks it up a notch - but this is where scoring gets tricky. I don't think it's better than #POR, but obviously very different. 8/12 #Eurovision
The Boy is watching for the first time this year. "Why is he taking his top off?" Umm - "must be warm". Then backed up by Graham Norton. Jolly good. #Eurovision
#SUI Well sung, but not doing anything for me. The Boy is not impressed either - it's not fast enough! Remind anyone else of Gordon Haskell's How Wonderful You Are? #Eurovision
Male #FRA is performing like his voice is actually a theremin. Can he not change pitch without waving his hand? This does nothing for me at all. 3/12. #Eurovision
Now some proper #Eurovision cheese - it would not be Eurovision without novelty songs like this, so bonus points to #NOR! Can this becoming an earworm!
This one from #ARM really reminds me of something. I can't quite put my finger on it - does she sound a bit like Boggie (Hungary from a few years back) #Eurovision
Big cheer for #ITA (of course) - "because it's the home team" says The Boy! So sport obsessed #Eurovision
This is not good #ITA. Something a bit off with the singing here sadly. #Eurovision
So... How do I explain these costumes and dancing then? No questions yet mind! #ESP #Eurovision
I wasn't keen on #NED entry in the semi-final (sacrilege) but it's growing on me - not enough for lots of points though. Het spijt me, Nederland #Eurovision
#GER making good use of the standard four chord progression, just like a million other songs. And is he Germany's answer to Eminem? #Eurovision
You can clearly see the through back to music performances of old in #LTU and for that I quite like it - it's pleasant and inoffensive and more about the song than the staging perhaps. Not enough to score highly for me though #Eurovision
The Boy is being a very good host - he's just brought me a bottle of red wine, seeing my beer is running low! Or maybe I should be concerned that he thinks I should have that much drink? #Eurovision
The Boy is also being very serious in scoring, checking all his ratings! Good lad #Eurovision
"Why has that person changed? He was wearing white!" Observant, is The Boy - and a very good question! Something fashion; all beyond me! #Eurovision
Another one that as a song I really like. I do like female-led folk music. But that's far to serious for #Eurovision #ISL
#MDA another cheesy entry and strong competition for Bananas #NOR - this might trump it! #Eurovision
It's she losing her voice? #SWE #Eurovision
Here we go! Don't balls it up! #UK #Eurovision
Is there an underlying sound of an ice-cream van in this, or am I just hungry? #UK #Eurovision
Okay, he did good. Deserves points if nothing else! #UK #Eurovision
#POL is okay but that beat sends me to a Justin Timberlake song... Ooh a speech! #Eurovision
#SRB Sounding red alert... While practicing good hand hygiene! A sign of our times? #Eurovision
#EST putting on a Western theme #Eurovision
Argh panic - SMARTY Mobile UK doesn't support premium rate numbers. No option to enable either. Giffgaff it is then. Daft restriction. #Eurovision
The Boy is in bed, much to his disappointment - he doesn't realize just how long this next bit takes! #Eurovision
Feeling a tad old... Exactly how many years ago was it MIKA appeared on Jools Holland? #Eurovision
And now the lines are closed, all the votes are printed out and counted one by one! #Eurovision
Making it sound like the validation of the jury vote was super quick but it's already been done! #Eurovision
Hooray! Points straight away. Job done, goodnight! #Eurovision
Wow! 12 points from Ukraine! #Eurovision
"The United Kingdom is in the lead" - when was that last said? And another 12 from Azerbaijan! #Eurovision
What? WHAT? Another 12 points from Germany and Belgium! What is going on! #Eurovision
Don't get hopes up! Don't get hopes up!
Are the audience allowed wine? How do they keep going? It's gone midnight there! #Eurovision
How rude. Nothing from Australia. #Eurovision
So, the United Kingdom #UK wins #Eurovision on the jury vote! I'll take that, thanks. Who wants to trust the public vote? #Eurovision
Ooh - I just stood up. Too much wine 🍷 #Eurovision
My choice, #MDA, did well in the public vote, let down (unsurprisingly) by the jury vote. #Eurovision
Ooh, the tension! #Eurovision
Surprised #ITA got that many votes TBH. Wasn't a great performance. #Eurovision
Ukraine fly up to the top? Yep, not surprised! #Eurovision
Regardless, the #UK has for once done very well in this year's competition. #UKR was always likely to win, I think #Eurovision
Moment of truth #Eurovision
SECOND PLACE! An excellent, beyond hope result for the #UK. Perhaps a little disappointing vote count from the public, but never mind.
And deserved congratulations to #UKR - a little bit of much needed positivity. I'm pleased they won. #Eurovision
Well, that was a lot of fun. I love this show, and social media makes it that much better. And with that, normal service resumes. Night all! #Eurovision
@BicycleBen Agreed 💯
I hereby propose to scrap this year's public vote and call the competition closed after the jury vote finishes... Or now! #Eurovision