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It's easier to imagine the end of the world than to imagine the end of french fries.

I'm tired of french fries. Let's try something new.

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My prediction for Mandalorian is that baby yoda is actually Emperor Palpatine and Yoda's love child.

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Achievement is very hollow. It ain't going to fill that inner void.

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If you have a good evil laugh, you will make a freakin boat load of cash as a voice actor.

HUH-HA-HA-HA! I burnt your ship! You're stuck on shit island!

Chemical Brothers - cool name.

What if we spice it up, make it 2020?

Like....Chemical Gender-Neutral Siblings?

These babies just act dumb. They know exactly what they are doing.

You don't fool me.

You try to be honest and accommodating, and people just ignore it and continue to use and take advantage.

It's rotten sometimes.

On the internet, nobody has a clue that I'm really a dog.

I used to pray to Shiva, the NASDAQ and Elon Musk to save me, give me the strength.

I realized all along, I got everything I need already.

The only thing I can relate to these days are cereal box characters. I'm not proud of that, but I'm not ashamed of it either.

I don't want to get too political, but it seems like the world has gone "cuckoo for cocoa puffs"

Uhhh then I went to this new cool bar, then we saw some cool indie rock band and then we went to a mountain in Chile and then we got married.

Fuck off.

I'm declaring a culture war on interesting people.

I'm proud of how dull I am.

Interesting people are actually quite boring. It all gets very tedious to them listening to their fancy-talk.

Shuddap for once.

Lots of tv shows about lawyers, doctors, police officers, fire fighters...none of that represents me. Give me a show about a mediocre screw-up fumbling their way through life. Shieeet. I may have to write the goddamn show myself. I'll do it after I'm done picking my nose.

Nothing like the old ball game to ease my nerves on this Sunday afternoon.


I am at my best in a Starbucks. I'm like a 6.5 out of 10 in a Starbucks. Outside of a Starbucks, I'm like a Douche.5 out of Shit

I think Emperor Palpatine is a eunuch. No genitals on that person.

That's why Palpa-douche is so angry.

It would be pretty sweet to see a Wolverine appearance in Star Wars.
Like Emperor Palpatine says something really smug to Wolverine and fucking Wolverine slashes his dumb hoodie.

Baby yoda loves macarons. This kid is going to be a great Jedi Master.

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