Brian Bilston: "Here’s a poem called ‘Heinous …" - Mastodon

Brian Bilston @brianbilston@mastodon.online

Here’s a poem called ‘Heinous Deficiencies’.

Heinous Deficiencies
A Statement from The Decaffeinated Protein Surveillance Society (Atheist Branch)

I before E except after C
is one of those weird and ancient rules
to which beige obeisance gets paid
when you’re at school

but it’s time it reigned no longer,
the rule being of little use –
it’s counterfeit, a sleight of hand,
and only serves to veil the truth.

The phrase makes us feel all ogreish,
a different species altogether,
for its heinous deficiencies
forfeit a life of leisure.

Surely a rule that’s conscientious
should therein bear its weight.
Yes, a few exceptions can reinforce
but not eight hundred and eight.

Sorry to inveigh so feistily
and deign to perpetrate this heist
but let’s seize the day (and cease this phrase) –
it’s time to get with the zeitgeist.

Brian Bilston

May 15, 2023, 10:22 AM··Metatext

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