My simple principles of making your time online a bit happier.
Read the whole post or thread.
Ask questions kindly.
Remember that not every post is for you.
You don't need to reply.
Don't worry what others think.
Write your own posts.
Speak with good motivation.
Let go of seeking praise.
Let go of avoiding blame.
Don't let others decide your worth.
Read the whole post.
Reacting to a single post without reading the thread is the source of so many misunderstandings. We've all experienced it. It takes a little more time, but it's good to slow down anyway. Try reading, and re-reading the post or thread, then think about replying carefully.
Ask questions kindly.
The way we ask questions in replies here can shape the direction of a whole interaction and change a conversation into an argument that doesn't help anyone, leaving us all feeling worse. Try real kindness, not just civility but recognizing their humanity.
Remember that not every post is for you.
A lot of the time we're posting with a specific audience in mind. Other people are too. Consider that when you read a post that it might not have been written for you. That might be why you feel the way you do about it. Do you really need to reply?
You don't need to reply.
Sometimes when we're replying it's because either we think something is wrong and we need to tell them, or we think we have information that they need to hear from us. Most of the time those kind of replies are unnecessary, unhelpful, and we end up in arguments, disagreements, and misunderstandings because of them. Practice just reading, listening, sharing, and not replying. It's hard but when you let go of that need to reply it can free you.
Don't worry what others think.
This doesn't mean that we don't care about how our words impact others, it means acknowledging that we can't control other's reactions to our words. And their reaction really isn't our business anyway. Let go.
Write your own posts.
Sometimes it's tempting to point to another post or reply, but a lot of problems can be solved by writing a new post instead. You think someone should be posting differently? Write your own post. Make it a thread. Share your ideas instead of just reacting.
Speak with good motivation.
If we speak with good motivation we're doing our best to be honest, share our perspective, and inspire. Even if we do some people will still be unhappy with what we say. Instead of worrying about that we can aim to work on our own motivation.
Let go of seeking praise.
Let go of avoiding blame.
Treat it like weather, a lovely cloud passing in the sky. Compliments and praise show up, and go away. Hear the praise and be nourished by it when it affirms you and then let it go. Don't chase it, don't lose yourself.
Be willing to learn from important feedback. But treat it like weather also, a little rain cloud passing that helps things to grow and then it's gone. Listen, learn, and let it go. Don't try to avoid it, don't lose yourself.
Don't let others decide your worth.
We might think our worth is based on praise or criticism. But basing our self-worth on what others say is not healthy, accurate, or fair. Find sanctuary in yourself instead. Listen to yourself, come back to yourself.
You are already beautiful.
