parenting
I despise the mindset that parents are giving a "gift" to their children by bearing and raising them, or that children owe *anything* to their parents in the general case.
Having a child is something that you do as a gift to *yourself*. It fulfills your emotional need to feel useful & needed. The child didn't ask for this; it deserves the best possible upbringing, not because that makes you look like a good person, but because *they didn't consent to be your life's meaning*.
parenting
I'm reminded of my (dreadful) treatment of captured animals as a kid. Mostly frogs and turtles. A lot of them died at my hands because I wanted to "take care of them".
It took me decades to realize that me wanting to take care of them was a *me* problem, not a *them* problem. I had a responsibility to take care of them *properly* -- to ask my parents to help me research the right food, housing, and other needs -- or to not capture them at all.