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Alright, it's therapy story time. I'm in the mood for it and it's overdue.

For full context on my therapy journey so far, I started and finished a huge thread over here:

If you read nothing else of that thread, at least read onwards from "the juicy bits" - just ctrl+F it.

It's about how your brain both learns and also unlearns(!) anxiety reactions. As far as I know few people have zero anxiety about anything. Most common one I can think of would be public speaking.

So this glass of hummus ruined pretty much anything I tried to add it to. Eventually had to bin a small rest of it.

Next up: the Chtaura can.

This one is very acidic. Something I had not tasted in any of the others (I think a bunch of them didn't contain any citric acid - their best before was sooner too of course).

Unfortunately it is also already extremely runny, so I can't really thin this one with more tahini.

It's not tasty on bread. Hopefully it doesn't ruin other dishes.

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The roof has been taken down even though the chimney still stands. I suppose it's not tall enough anymore to be a risk and it saves money to not rent the roof any longer? I'm sceptical.

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Another good essay from Oliver Burkeman:

It's worse than you think

"you get the picture. And you probably get the point, too – which is that when you grasp the sense in which your situation is completely hopeless, instead of just very challenging, you can unclench. You get to exhale. You no longer have to go through life adopting the brace position, because you see that the plane has already crashed. You're already stranded on the desert island"

It's really weird what kind of info can spill to you through various services.

I got the full name and contact of some fork lift operator in the US, because they requested access to a steam controller bindings file on my google drive (that only being necessary in the first place due to some update) - I get their email address through that, which in turn can reveal their account on a plethora of other services.

Fun to know what kind of person appreciates a well tuned complex control scheme.

I'm a lot more "active" since starting my therapy. Cycled hundreds of kilometres, sometimes in a day, done small renovations and cleanups, actually grew plants on the balcony ...

These things are often touted as a cure to mental health problems. But to me they are much more clearly just an indicator of how I'm doing.

When I'm down I can't bring myself to do any of these things. And if I do manage to force it I cannot enjoy them, making the situation worse.

Gerade halten von und ich einen Vortrag für Lehramtsstudierende der TU Dortmund über Barrieren in Games und Games in der Pädagogik. Die Studis sollten uns ihre Meinung zu verschiedenen Statements geben.

First can finally emptied out via cooking. Going by expiry date I just tried the glass of terra sana on the right. It's very creamy, but tastes stuffy/dusty. No good on bread either. Looking at the ingredients I think it's the excess of spices in there. Not opposed to creating a good taste with the right mix, but I think the two brands I like don't actually use any.

Another one to cook with!

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got myself a new (used, these aren't sold anymore) graphics card - best one this old CPU can support

now instead of eventually crashing back to on board graphics, I can run all my stuff at highest settings 👀

If you want more of these, I've also automated them onto an insta account I had no other use for:

My defence for having that in the first place ... I needed it for work and knowing those scheduling tools may come in handy.

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