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i see some shit online and i want to reject my humanity and go monkey

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gonna demand people use he/him, they/them and she/her pronouns for me, alternated in that order

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@a_lizard I just checked Google out of curiosity and it turns out people have actually done it because they lost the key

@a_lizard You just unlocked a whole new level of genius pervert troll. I love it.

@a_lizard I bet people have actually done that, but not as a prank

prank idea: calling a locksmith for ur chastity cage

my problem is that im sexy and funny and really nice, tbh

do you BLEED like a MAN? all new MANPONS, the included cooter shooter insertion gun makes inserting a breeze and our special cotton blend can soak more blood than the battlefields your ancestors tested themselves upon

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manpons, shoot it up that cooter with the free inserter gun

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manpons, tampons for men, extra large for that heavy flow

y'know, I'm starting to think this whole capitalism idea was a bit of a dud

me n other euros: clowning on the tragedies of the continent
some yank: ummm as someone whos 1 127th dutch i would like u to stop joking about the flood in zeeland

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americans who have some blood connection to a tragedy irk me

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