Pinned toot

i see some shit online and i want to reject my humanity and go monkey

Show thread
Pinned toot

gonna demand people use he/him, they/them and she/her pronouns for me, alternated in that order

Pinned toot

@a_lizard I just checked Google out of curiosity and it turns out people have actually done it because they lost the key

@a_lizard You just unlocked a whole new level of genius pervert troll. I love it.

@a_lizard I bet people have actually done that, but not as a prank

prank idea: calling a locksmith for ur chastity cage

my problem is that im sexy and funny and really nice, tbh

do you BLEED like a MAN? all new MANPONS, the included cooter shooter insertion gun makes inserting a breeze and our special cotton blend can soak more blood than the battlefields your ancestors tested themselves upon

Show thread

manpons, shoot it up that cooter with the free inserter gun

Show thread

manpons, tampons for men, extra large for that heavy flow

y'know, I'm starting to think this whole capitalism idea was a bit of a dud

me n other euros: clowning on the tragedies of the continent
some yank: ummm as someone whos 1 127th dutch i would like u to stop joking about the flood in zeeland

Show thread

americans who have some blood connection to a tragedy irk me

Show more
Mastodon

This is a brand new server run by the main developers of the project as a spin-off of mastodon.social 🐘 It is not focused on any particular niche interest - everyone is welcome as long as you follow our code of conduct!