"I should do [thing]" - person that will never do that thing

it may take some time as I rebuild and fix what is broken so please have patience
don't give up on me

my eyes keep leaking and I want them to stop but my heart continues releasing magic smoke

I keep imagining scenarios in which we meet but they always end with her leaving as I am on the ground with my heart tearing itself apart
my arms are empty and it hurts
I just want a moment when we can forget everything together

why did you do this to me
why do you say you were sorry even though we all knew it was a lie
i want my garden back

I shall not hold any grudge nor judgement, nor any malice towards others
that is easy
the same cannot be said for others onto me regardless of how much I wish otherwise

not once have I ever uttered those words aloud or said them to anyone but they fully understand my pain
I hope one day I finally can

I hope this eternal summer ends
I want to see the leaves change color again and perhaps give way to those beautiful cherry blossoms
if the ice ever breaks, can we watch them together ?

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