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QuestaSis visited for breakfast yesterday. She opened up to me for the first time in ever about her marriage and insecurities. It was huge, because she's always been the most closed off person and incredibly difficult to get to know. I'm grateful she's letting me in now. I'm convinced more than ever that if two people don't make each other pee themselves laughing from the getgo, when the <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/marraige" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#marraige</a> turns stale, nothing will be left but a detached and silent roommate. <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/journal" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#journal</a>

NammyFitWhat is more important: The institution of marriage or the people in it?Marriage is often seen as the foundation of society, love, stability, and shared values. It’s an institution that requires patience, compromise, and sometimes the quiet sacrifice of personal desires for the greater good.But what happens when this revered institution starts to choke the very people it’s meant to nourish? How do we square morality, family values, and endurance with the excruciating reality of marriages that no longer serve the people in them?It’s not an easy question. It’s a messy, human problem that forces us to confront our values, our fears and sometimes our own limitations.Marriage is often presented as a goal, an achievement, or even a moral obligation. Family expectations, cultural norms, and societal pressures push people into believing that marriage is a marker of success. Once married, the commitment is hailed as sacred, but the sanctity of the people in that marriage often takes a backseat.This is especially painful when individuals find themselves in a union that has become toxic, loveless, or even abusive. The fear of judgment, failure, or shame keeps many trapped in relationships that no longer nourish them. They endure silently, tethered by vows that feel more like shackles than promises.The Virtue of Patience—or the Weaponization of It?Marriage is built on patience. We’re told to endure tough times, weather storms, and “fight for love.” These are great ideals till they start being used as a moral obligation. When one partner feels unseen, unheard, or emotionally drained, they’re often told to “give it time” or “be more understanding.”How do you know when patience has crossed the line into self betrayal? Is it patience to stay in a marriage that’s eroding your mental health, or is it fear of societal judgment disguised as virtue?Morality: The Double BindMarriage is sacred. Divorce is a moral failure. Not just personal. For some, leaving a marriage feels like a betrayal of family, community, and even faith. This moral weight is especially heavy for women who are expected to hold the family together at all costs. They’re told to sacrifice their own happiness, and sometimes even dignity, to preserve the institution of marriage, even in cases of neglect or abuse. The narrative becomes duty over self preservation, shame over walking away.So what’s moral about upholding an institution at all costs or doing right by the people in it? What’s right when staying feels wrong?The Complexity of ChildrenThe presence of children complicates everything. Parents in unhappy marriages often stay together “for the kids.” The argument is understandable: children need stability, and divorce can disrupt their sense of security.But children also absorb the emotional atmosphere of their homes. They notice when their parents are distant, angry, or unhappy. They learn about love and relationships by observing what their parents model. Staying in a broken marriage can teach children that unhappiness and sacrifice are normal parts of love.It’s a no-win situation that leaves parents agonizing over what’s truly best for their kids.The truth is, there’s no universal answer. Every family’s circumstances are different, and every decision comes with trade-offs. But what if we focused less on preserving the marriage and more on creating a home—together or apart—where children feel loved, valued, and safe?When the Institution Becomes the PriorityIn many cultures, saving the marriage takes precedence over saving the people in it. Couples are told to “work harder” on their marriage without addressing the core issues. Even when faced with irreparable differences or harm, individuals are encouraged to stay “for the children,” “for society,” or “to avoid stigma.”This obsession with preserving the institution can also invalidate the feelings of those struggling within it. People in unhappy marriages are often dismissed with platitudes like, “All marriages have ups and downs,” or “Marriage is about compromise.”The Silent Weight of GuiltLeaving a marriage that no longer works comes with a tidal wave of guilt—guilt about not trying hard enough, about breaking a promise, about hurting children, about letting others down. This guilt is amplified by societal narratives that equate endurance with strength and divorce with failure.But guilt doesn’t tell the whole story. It doesn’t account for the quiet agony of living in a home devoid of love and or the slow erosion of the sense of self. It doesn’t acknowledge the courage it takes to choose yourself when every voice around you tells you not to.Marriage is hard. It’s a delicate balance of love, patience, morality, values, and compromise. But when that balance tips too far in favor of the institution over the individuals, it’s time to ask hard questions and make hard choices, and when they do, no one should ever have to be ashamed of it.It’s The People Who Matter MoreMarriage is a partnership—a space where two individuals come together to grow, support each other, and share a life of mutual respect and love. If that space turns into a battlefield or a prison, it is the people, not the institution, that need our attention, empathy, and care.When we prioritize the well-being of individuals, we empower them to make decisions that align with their happiness, values, and health. Sometimes that means fighting for the marriage and seeking counseling or help. Other times, it means acknowledging that the relationship has run its course and allowing both people to move forward separately.In the end, the sanctity of marriage isn’t in its endurance of pain—it’s in the love, respect, and humanity it fosters. And if those elements are gone, preserving the institution becomes meaningless.<a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/3366ff/" target="_blank">#3366ff</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/divorce/" target="_blank">#divorce</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/domestic-abuse/" target="_blank">#domesticAbuse</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/emotional-wellbeing/" target="_blank">#emotionalWellbeing</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/family/" target="_blank">#family</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/gender-parity/" target="_blank">#genderParity</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/love/" target="_blank">#love</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/marraige/" target="_blank">#marraige</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/marriage/" target="_blank">#marriage</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/mental-health/" target="_blank">#mentalHealth</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/relationship/" target="_blank">#relationship</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/relationships/" target="_blank">#Relationships</a>

NammyFitSix Conversations Every Couple Should Have Before Saying “I Do”With over 4.8 million weddings in India between November and December 2024, generating a whopping Rs 6 trillion in business, it’s clear the wedding season is in full swing. The excitement is palpable—the beautiful outfits, grand ceremonies, and life together. But amidst all the grandeur and rituals, there’s a quieter, less glamorous side of marriage that needs attention: the foundation on which the relationship will stand after the festivities are over.Marriage isn’t just a day—it’s a lifetime of shared responsibilities, decisions, and dreams. Too many couples jump into this lifelong commitment without having transparent conversations about the practicalities and expectations that will define their journey. It’s only wiser and more mature if couples have the right conversation (not the cheesy, what’s your favorite color, kind) now to avoid misunderstandings, resentment, and heartbreak later.Here are six crucial topics every soon-to-be-married couple should talk about before stepping into this new chapter.1. Finances: Building a Secure Foundation with Trust and TransparencyMoney matters are a leading cause of marital discord, and it’s no wonder—our financial habits often reflect our values, priorities, and fears. Data shows that about <a href="https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/common-causes-divorce/" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">25% of marriages end in divorce over financial stress</a>. Talking openly about finances before marriage isn’t about dividing responsibilities; it’s about aligning goals. Consider questions like:<ul><li>How much debt or savings is each partner bringing into the marriage?</li><li>Will you maintain separate accounts, merge finances, or a mix of both?</li><li>What are your short-term financial goals (monthly budgets, vacations) and long-term plans (buying a home, children’s education, retirement)?</li><li>How will emergencies, such as job losses or health issues, be handled?</li></ul>These conversations go beyond numbers—they reveal attitudes toward money, risk, and planning. For instance, one partner may prioritize saving aggressively, while the other values spending on experiences. Reconciling these differences early can prevent feelings of imbalance and mistrust later. An honest discussion about money creates clarity and prevents surprises, making both partners feel secure and heard.2. Career Aspirations and Personal GrowthMarriage brings with it an expectation of shared lives, but career ambitions and personal goals don’t pause for a wedding. Understanding and supporting each other’s aspirations is key to avoiding resentment down the road. Discuss:<ul><li>Current career priorities and future aspirations.</li><li>Plans for career changes, relocations, or further education.</li><li>How each partner envisions balancing work and home responsibilities.</li><li>Attitudes toward taking breaks, starting businesses, or shifting focus to family.</li></ul>For example, if one partner plans to move abroad for a job or switch to a demanding role, the other partner needs to be prepared for the changes that will ripple through their shared lives. These conversations set the stage for mutual support and help establish realistic expectations around personal and professional growth.3. Family Expectations and DynamicsIn some cultures, like India, marriage is rarely just about two people; it’s a union of families. Navigating the complexities of family expectations and roles is vital for marital harmony. Explore:<ul><li>What kind of relationship each partner expects with in-laws.</li><li>Boundaries regarding extended family involvement in decision-making.</li><li>Responsibilities toward aging parents or siblings.</li><li>How to handle financial or emotional obligations to family members.</li></ul>For example, one partner may expect their spouse to visit their parents every weekend, while the other may prefer a more independent relationship with in-laws. These differences can escalate if not addressed early. Understanding family expectations upfront helps couples find a balance that respects both individual and collective needs. Clear boundaries and shared understanding about family dynamics can prevent future conflicts and ensure a healthy balance between family and individuality.4. Religious Practices and BeliefsReligion and spirituality often play significant roles in shaping daily lives, rituals, and family traditions. Differences in beliefs can be a source of conflict if not discussed openly. Ask:<ul><li>How important is religion in daily life?</li><li>Are there specific rituals or practices one partner expects to continue?</li><li>How will religious holidays and celebrations be observed?</li><li>What happens if children are involved—will they follow one faith, both, or neither?</li></ul>For example, if one partner is devout and observes rituals regularly while the other is more flexible, these differences could lead to misunderstandings. Aligning on how to navigate these practices ensures mutual respect and prevents future friction, especially when raising children or managing extended family expectations. Respecting each other’s beliefs and creating a shared approach to religious practices fosters understanding and avoids unnecessary friction.5. Lifestyle Choices and HabitsLiving together means adapting to each other’s quirks and routines. While some differences can be endearing, others can become sources of tension if not addressed. Talk about:<ul><li>Sleep patterns, cleanliness, and organizational habits.</li><li>Social preferences—do you enjoy frequent gatherings, or do you prefer quiet time at home?</li><li>Attitudes toward fitness, health, and diet.</li><li>How much personal space each partner values.</li></ul>For example, one partner may thrive on socializing and want to host frequent dinner parties, while the other may prefer quiet weekends. Or one may be a morning person who loves exercise, while the other is a night owl who cherishes late-night TV. These lifestyle differences might seem minor, but they can lead to frustration over time without mutual understanding and compromise.6. Children and ParentingThe decision to have children—or not—can shape the future of a marriage in profound ways. Avoiding this conversation before marriage can lead to misunderstandings and heartache later. Discuss:<ul><li>Do you both want children? If so, when and how many?</li><li>Parenting philosophies—how will you balance discipline, education, and nurturing?</li><li>Who will take on primary caregiving roles, and how will they balance work and family?</li><li>Financial planning for raising children.</li></ul>For instance, one partner may dream of becoming a parent within the first year of marriage, while the other may want to wait several years. Or one may favor strict discipline, while the other believes in a more lenient approach. Aligning on these decisions ensures both partners feel heard and respected as they build a shared future.Beyond the Wedding DayMarriage is a beautiful commitment, but it’s also hard work. It demands patience, compromise, and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths. These conversations might not feel as exciting as planning the perfect wedding outfit or finalizing the venue, but they’re infinitely more important.As you prepare to exchange vows, remember that the real investment isn’t in the wedding day—it’s in the life you’ll build together. By approaching these uncomfortable topics with honesty and vulnerability, you’re laying the groundwork for a partnership rooted in trust and understanding. After all, a strong foundation today ensures a resilient, loving marriage tomorrow.<a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/divorce/" target="_blank">#divorce</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/emotional-wellbeing/" target="_blank">#emotionalWellbeing</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/love/" target="_blank">#love</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/marraige/" target="_blank">#marraige</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/marriage/" target="_blank">#marriage</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/mental-health/" target="_blank">#mentalHealth</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/relationship/" target="_blank">#relationship</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://nammyfit.com/tag/relationships/" target="_blank">#Relationships</a>

Shekhar MahapatraWishing Every one a Happy Valentines Day! <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/HappyValentinesDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#HappyValentinesDay</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/happyvalentinesday2024" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#happyvalentinesday2024</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Usafely" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#Usafely</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/ShekharMahapatra" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#ShekharMahapatra</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Indi_Legal" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#Indi_Legal</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/legal" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#legal</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/marriageagreement" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#marriageagreement</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/Prenuptial" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#Prenuptial</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/agreement" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#agreement</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/postnuptial" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#postnuptial</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/weddingvows" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#weddingvows</a> <a href="http://bit.ly/Inbox_Shekhar" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no">http://bit.ly/Inbox_Shekhar</a> feel free to inbox, for <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/prenutial" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#prenutial</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/post" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#post</a> nuptial <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/marraige" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#marraige</a> <a href="https://mastodon.online/tags/agreement" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#agreement</a>

Subir Pal vedic astrologerDO I HAVE POOR MARRIED LIFE AND CHILD BIRTH AS PER ASTROLOGY<a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/marriedlife" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#marriedlife</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/childbirth" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#childbirth</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/marraige" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#marraige</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/astrology" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#astrology</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/horoscope" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#horoscope</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/vedicastrology" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#vedicastrology</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/indianastrology" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#indianastrology</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/vedicastrologer" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#vedicastrologer</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/astrologer" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#astrologer</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/predictions" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#predictions</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/destiny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#destiny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/psychic" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#psychic</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/kundli" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#kundli</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/jyotish" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jyotish</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/remedy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#remedy</a> CLICK TO READ . . . . <a href="https://qr.ae/pKuybf" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank">https://qr.ae/pKuybf</a>

Subir Pal vedic astrologerDOES MY HOROSCOPE INDICATES MARRIAGE OR AN ASCETIC LIFE<a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/marraige" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#marraige</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/marriedlife" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#marriedlife</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/marriagetime" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#marriagetime</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/ascetic" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#ascetic</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/astrology" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#astrology</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/horoscope" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#horoscope</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/vedicastrology" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#vedicastrology</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/indianastrology" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#indianastrology</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/vedicastrologer" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#vedicastrologer</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/astrologer" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#astrologer</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/predictions" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#predictions</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/destiny" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#destiny</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/psychic" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#psychic</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/kundli" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#kundli</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/jyotish" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#jyotish</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/remedy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#remedy</a> CLICK TO READ . . . . <a href="https://qr.ae/pKGtSf" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank">https://qr.ae/pKGtSf</a>

Wessel van RensburgMen make their own choices, but - to paraphrase Marx - ‘they do not make [these choices] under circumstances chosen by themselves’."marriage rates tend to fall with secularisation, individualism and gender parity in earnings."Alice Evans is always fascinating, this time on falling marriage rates.<a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/marraige" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#marraige</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/sociosexuality" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#sociosexuality</a> <a href="https://draliceevans.substack.com/p/a-unified-theory-of-marriage?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://draliceevans.substack.com/p/a-unified-theory-of-marriage?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email</a>

Cody Dostal :unverified:Is anyone in here a <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/licensed" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#licensed</a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/psychologist" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#psychologist</a> or knows one? Preferably one who understands <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/Marraige" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#Marraige</a> and <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/Family" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#Family</a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/Therapy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#Therapy</a> in MD? My wife just graduated with her BS in <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/Psychology" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#Psychology</a> from UMGC and is trying to determine a <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/grad" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#grad</a> program but UMGC isn’t being helpful in helping her decide (they don’t have a <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/masters" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#masters</a> program apparently). I would love if someone is available to have a chat about it all so my wife can plan the next step in her educational journey. <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/MFT" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#MFT</a> <a href="https://infosec.exchange/tags/Therapy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#Therapy</a>

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