While I was waiting on bits to download, I wrote up a quick #cowsay container for the fun of it. As one does..
@vwbusguy now I want a distroless cowsay container 
@vwbusguy The good news is: There is now a (mostly) static build of cowsay that you can copy in any container you like :)
Feel the need for cowsay?
FROM quay.io/shivering-isles/cowsay:latest as cowsay
FROM somethingelse
COPY --from=cowsay /cowsay ./cowsay
RUN ./cowsay "YAY!"
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Maybe I can somehow also get pp itself to bundle everything static .-.
(And if ANYONE ASKS: NO I COULDN'T JUST USE A COWSAY REIMPLEMENTATION IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE!)
@sheogorath Did you somehow compile it with all the perl dependencies bundled in?
EDIT Oh, wow, you did!!
@vwbusguy The thing is: It only works with the patch that is below or when you BYOC (Bring Your Own Cow).
The amount of time I had to spend to figure out how the included files can be accessed and why the default discovery mechanism wasn't able to pick them up, was quite a riddle to solve.
Has been so long since I wrote any perl.
@sheogorath #perl and riddles go hand in hand. It is a language utterly built around solving riddles with riddles until eventually you get to the "What's it got in its pocketses, precious?" and then you rush out of the goblin tunnel without looking back at it ever again.